I have such guilt that I'm doing or not doing what is best for my baby.
What do I feel guilty about?
- T playing alone while I do dishes
- wearing clothes with polyester in them
- him glancing at the computer screen for a minute and me not taking him away
- making him ride in the car because it isn't quality time and he hates it so much
- giving him the paci just a couple more times in the morning to hold him off
- saying anything negative in front of him - I don't want to scar him this young
- his diapers cutting into his thighs because they are ginormo
- not bathing him enough
- drinking coffee and feeding him
The list could go on and on...
I totally get the draw of finding an expert and doing what they say, but I know that the experts are not necessarily thinking about the long term health of the baby, but quick results. We have Kaiser, so its hard to find a pediatrician that we trust is skeptical enough about the medical industrial complex. I wish we could have monthly meetings with our midwives forever :)
I wish I had a book I could trust to help me - I'm struggling already trying to figure out how to get rid of the paci at 6 months (its the only way he goes to sleep and stays asleep) and worried about sending him to the nanny who won't have the time to put him down the way I do. I don't really trust anyone but me with my bubbs.
Getting over mama guilt will be the best thing I can do for myself. But how?