I'm reading "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin and am relieved to have finally found a good book on how to be of some use during all of this. Not that I didn't find the other books written for guys really amusing in their caveman level advice: "she's pregnant not fat, so don't make fun of her for gaining weight" said one. My feeling is that if you need that advice I'm wishing that you hadn't chosen to reproduce already.
Anyway, "The Birth Partner" has actual real, detailed advice like making sure to turn up the water heater temperature if you are planning a home birth and will need many gallons of hot water for the birthing tub. And that I need to make sure that I've been lifting weights and doing cardio so that I can be ready for the possible 24 hours plus of labor where I may have to press on her back to relieve pain, help hold her in a more comfortable position, etc.