I have a leetle problem

 *written months ago - posted after notifying my boss (who I sincerely hope doesn't know this blog exists, but might)

I'll be upfront about this.

I have a VERY addictive personality/genetic code. The majority of my relatives are functioning addicts. Luckily, I've MOSTLY avoided addiction.

I smoked for 10 years - about a pack a day.

I'm slightly obsessive about the house (Bubbs might disagree and cross out the "slightly").

Anyway - I'm currently 8 days past my ovulation date.*

I have blown through 25 cheap pregnancy tests (25 for $8.00).

In the last two days I have blown through $100 in additional pregnancy tests.

Folks, I'd say we have a problem.

The chances of my body even showing signs of being pregnant are like 50% right now.

The chances of my body being ready to get pregnant are even lower (I haven't had a full cycle without my iud yet).

But, I've wasted a TON of money on tests.

And, I truly think I see lines on every single test.

Every single one.

And they aren't there.

We call this an addiction.

I can't stop peeing.

My poor son keeps asking to eat the pregnancy tests I leave everywhere (waiting for the five minutes to be up).

Anyway.

My boobs are tender, I've had cramping on and off for about a week, slight lower back pain, and I'm uncharacteristically understanding and nice.

I haven't had a true cycle since the ONE I had before we conceived T - I've been on birth control pretty much my whole before and after him. So these could also all be per-menstral symptoms (other than the niceness - that's just f-ing weird).