Anxiety

I think I used to be a pretty anxious person.

Walking through the halls at school, before any test, talking to new people, attending a sporting event - all gave me a major stomach ache.

I don't know if anyone would have ever guessed that about me.

As I've gotten older and more confident that's pretty much gone away. I can make presentations in front of hundreds of people, talk to people at parties, walk into a room of strangers and feel okay. I never get nervous before job interviews or even about natural childbirth. I just knew I could do it (get that job, push that kid out) and I did.

I thought this was because I don't really care what people think about me anymore and that I've gotten good at my job so I know what I'm doing. I thought that being comfortable with my strengths and weaknesses has made me pretty badass.

I'm starting to think it is because of the hormonal birth control I've been on.

I've been on regular hormonal birth control for about 10 years. I've tried different things.
Several kinds of pills (major mood swings and not being reliable to take them), the depo shot (20 lb weight gain), and finally the mirena IUD. I love my mirena. No periods, regulated hormones so few mood swings, no huge changes.

I had it taken out to have T - we got pregnant a month later - and as soon as I was ready, I got one put in again.

I had it taken out recently (for personal reasons) and I'm a freakin' anxious mess.

The hour before preschool drop off my heart is pounding in my chest. Every day.

My cousin just came over, and I sat here thinking our exchange was weird and maybe I offended her for like 10 minutes (with my heart pounding in my chest). All we said was "hi" and "bye".

I'm starting to wonder if the Mirena's hormones were helping regulate my anxiety? That's the only thing that is really different in my life since this started.

Anyway - not sure what to do but I suppose I should see a specialist or something...