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April 6, 2013

Two Bedrooms and Two Babies - Our Second Homebirth Story


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Turner came early, so I was prepared for you to come early too.

Your dad was off work, the freezer was stocked, all the last minute baby projects were completed. 

Much like during T’s pregnancy, my blood pressure would get high when I was stressed, but generally I was able to bring it down by going deep inside myself and imagining a peaceful place.

Twice, during this pregnancy, we had to schelp over to Kaiser, check in, and practically fight with the staff there to get minimal testing to be sure I didn’t have pre-eclampsia.  They checked my blood pressure, drew blood, did an ultrasound, and monitored your heart rate.  Each time we went everything was perfect with my health and it confirmed the fact that I did NOT want to give birth in a hospital.

Before I was pregnant the first time, I never would have thought that there would be such a mind/body connection possible.  Aside from any labor techniques, I was able to bring my blood pressure down from 154/79 to 118/79.  That is huge.  I closed my eyes and imagined my body getting very heavy.  Then I pictured myself on the hot tub deck at the river house with a glass of cold white wine and my two boys playing legos on the deck quietly.   It always worked.

My 30th birthday and your due date came and went.   I was starting to become more uncomfortable, and in an effort to keep my blood pressure low, I cut off almost all contact to the outside world.  This was frustrating to so many people, I’m sure, since we’re deep into construction and permitting at the river house and I was the manager of the project at one point!

We did a lot of walking to the beach and back, through the park, in the neighborhood, but since my last check with the midwives, on my due date (3/25) my cervix was dilated to a 6, I just assumed that at any minute I would go into labor.

Five days after my due date on 3/30, Bibi, Stephanie, your dad and I were sitting in the living room chatting.  I had taken some herbal tinctures (under guidance from the midwives) the day before and also taken some that day.  I had tried to take castor oil that day as well, but threw it all up around three o’clock and never saw any effects from it.

Around 8pm, I had my first contraction.  Since our midwives had pretty much said that the baby could come within an hour of going into labor, we called them and they all came over immediately (Ami, Kara, and Hanna).  I was in pretty bad pain, so I hopped in the tub (since I was already a six, I didn’t think it would slow anything down).

Already, I knew that this labor was so different from my last.  With Turner’s birth, I had no break between contractions.  There was no chatting, no laughing.  I was a wild animal in pain and nothing would help.  If you got in my way, I would physically assault you since I couldn’t find a place in my brain for words.

This labor was amazing.  My contractions had a clear beginning and end.  I would have a minute or two between them and I would feel totally fine.  The contractions themselves varied from minor to very intense pain. 

At one point, my midwife told me that another mama (that I had met through our group pre-natal visits) was in labor as well – so she would be leaving and the other midwife would come.  I loved it b/c most mamas only get one of the midwives at their birth and I got both!

My contractions slowed down for a bit, so I got out of the tub to walk around.  This REALLY helped bring them on faster and harder – but the pain was unbearable. 

When my labor initially started, my mom had climbed into bed with Turner in case he woke up.  At this point, around 1am, I heard him crying.   I climbed into the tub and my contractions stopped.  I just listened.  Eventually his crying stopped and I heard him talking about sesame street.  I heard he, Tim and my mom leaving the house (at 1am) to go watch sesame street at her flat (right above ours).   It was really amazing how my “plan” for what to do with T was happening EXACTLY as I had pictured it. The minute the door closed, I had an intense contraction.  That mind/body connection was present again.  I couldn’t labor while my son was awake.

I was becoming really frustrated with the lack of increasing intensity of the contractions.  At one point I decided to go for a walk around the block (when I suggested this to the midwives, I got a very funny look).  Halfway down the stairs, I had a major contraction and decided to stick closer to home.

But, I did start climbing our interior stairs.  Up and down, stopping for contractions and bringing them on faster and faster.  Once I was confident they were fast enough, I started circling our house – stopping at the front entrance (same place I labored with Turner) and leaning on our shoe/entry table. 

I still didn’t feel like much was happening so I checked in with my midwives.  We decided to do an internal check to see how dilated I was and possibly break my waters to get things going again.  It was 2:30am at this point.  I was tired, and honestly, a little bored with the whole thing.  I kept saying that I knew I just had too much downtime.

Waiting for one final contraction to finish, I got checked on my bed.  I had gone from 6cm two weeks before to SEVEN F-ING centimeters after 6 hours of labor.  We decided to go ahead with breaking the water.

At 2:30, my midwife reached in to break my bag.  She wasn’t certain she had gotten it since his head was really well engaged in my cervix.  Immediately, I had a contraction that felt like my entire labor with Turner.  I turned into an animal.  I ran, naked, across the house and jumped into the tub.  On my knees with my arms hanging over the edge, I started making low OOOO sounds.  They would eventually turn into screams and cussing.  I had a several second break until the next one came.  The Oooopen noises I had been making somehow made it worse – but I guess they were successfully helping to open my cervix, because on the next contraction I started bearing down. 

Now with Turner, pushing and bearing down was delightful.  I loved every second of it.  This was HORRIFYING.  It was happening very fast, I wasn’t ready, and it felt much different than with T.  I was a little confused since moments before I still had 3 cm to dilate, so it took me a second to realize I was pushing.

I announced I was pushing and heard someone reference the fact that they were checking me.  I heard “complete.”  Not that anyone could have stopped me at that moment.

My midwife was kneeling in front of me and I had grabbed her hand and was tearing into it with each straining push.  After two pushes, I yelled, “he’s coming.”  I remembered they wanted me to lean back with Turner, so I automatically leaned back.  I heard them yell for Tim who was in the back room for some reason.  With one more push, his head was out.  I couldn’t get his body though – someone checked for a cord – which was wrapped around his neck.  Once they got that off, someone unhooked his shoulder and he came flying out. 

Dude was crying.  Looked like his grandfather. 

I was exhausted.

The next few days were really hard.  I was exhausted and Turner was sad to miss so much of his mama.  The new baby didn’t sleep well until my milk came in, so I was running on empty.

We’re on day 7 of Baby Daschel’s life and I’m blissed out at the moment.

We’ve figured out a way for me to have “special time” with T.  My milk came in and with the help of a nipple shield, Baby D is getting plenty of milk and is sleeping like a champ.

It truly feels like my family is complete now.  I’m a boy mom and I’m thrilled.

March 17, 2013

Waiting for baby

With baby number two (and final), the pregnancy has gone by so much more quickly.

Even these last three weeks, while I'm waiting, the days fly by.  I'm now only a week out from my due date - though I'm anxious to get the party started, I know the baby will eventually come and life as we know it will cease.

Our Au Pair has arrived and I'm already so grateful for her.  She swooped in, got started right away, and T can't stop staring into her eyes and smiling.  She plays really well with him, and since he's madly in love with her, he does whatever she says.  We adults love her too.  She fits in really well, seems to need as much alone time as we do, and joins in when we have company.  This process could have been a total disaster in a number of ways, but so far, we feel so lucky.

A my midwife appointment last week, my blood pressure was a bit high.  Even with visualization, which helped me bring it down when it was high when I was pregnant with T, didn't do much.  They had me come back two days later, and it was even higher.  After a little cry about possibly having to be induced (but being assured my midwives would be there while it happened), we headed to Kaiser for some testing to see what was going on.  Bubbs is home now for his leave, so luckily, he was able to take me to Kaiser for testing.

I have no other symptoms of pre-eclampsia than high blood pressure, but our midwives take no chances - if I want a homebirth I have to do whatever they say to ensure them that I have a normal pregnancy.

So, after an amazing mexican breakfast, we headed to Kaiser.  Navigating the parking lot is sure to raise anyone's blood pressure.  We arrived in labor and delivery and they had us wait in a yellow waiting room with burgundy chairs.  I started crying again - "I don't want to have my baby here, it is so ugly!"  Sobbing and laughing at the same time helped to relieve some of the stress.

Aside from how ugly Kaiser was, I realized just how grateful I am for my midwife team:

- The Kasier nurse demanded that I take of my clothes and put on a gown.  When I asked why, since they would be taking my blood pressure and doing an ultrasound, she said it was "just in case."  Um, "just in case WHAT?"  I put the damn gown on, but over my clothes :)

- When it was time to take my blood pressure, there were three alarms going off, plus my baby's heart rate monitor.  I'm trying to visualize being on a hot deck in the summer with an ice cold glass of wine while I have what sounds like a war going on around me.   Helpful.  In my midwive's office, I'm a lovely sofa and she checked to make sure I was okay with the light conversation going on outside the room.

- When my urine tests came back, the nurse says, "negative."  I was like, "um, negative for what?"  My midwives would have explained it all upfront.

- The nurse who came to take my blood couldn't find a vein and was really rough with me.  This is after I told her I hate getting blood draw.

-They gave me instructions for a 24 hour pee collection - I followed them, then brought the pee back the next day only to be told that I didn't do it right and they couldn't use it.

The good news is - I went from having 152/70 to 118/69 using visualization.  All my testing came back perfectly normal and my homebirth is still on.

I had acupuncture (twice) to help me keep my calm - and man was it groovy (the second time - the first time was just weird since I didn't speak the language of the acupuncturist).

We're in the waiting game now - trying to keep the house clean with all of us here full time and trying to keep me calm.

The birth tub is set up, the meals are frozen, and now it is just time to relax.

March 8, 2013

Au Pair Room Done!

It is 3pm on Friday, March 8th.

Our Au Pair arrives at 8pm.

I JUST finished the room.  It has been mostly done for weeks, but the workers were going in and out to finish painting the exterior of house and I didn't want to start cleaning the bathroom and finishing the floors, making the beds, until they were done tramping in and out.

I spent a long long time decorating, planning, and spent about double our budget to get this room together - a room I won't see again for many many many months.

Just so you remember where we started:


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When we moved in...


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Starting work to build the rumpus room...

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Halfway there.

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It lived like this for awhile.

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We played down here a lot on rainy days and grandparents slept down here regularly.

Then mama got knocked up, we found out about the Au Pair program, and decided to invite a total stranger to come live with us in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment.

So...here it is!

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This isn't the most glamorous entrance, but it is her own.

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I imagine that rug won't be white when we get the room back in 18 months, but it was SO cheap I don't care.

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It would have been nice to iron that slipcover, but this mama's very pregnant and was so not doing that.

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We got her a netbook and a cell phone so she can watch netflix and skype and get some privacy from our crazy house.

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View from the bed.

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View OF the bed.

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The bathroom, finally clean.

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Frosted the windows with contact paper so she could have some privacy.

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A white orchid makes everything look pretty and put together.

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Her "kitchen" - I filled it with snacks, tea, a couple cups and plates.  She also has a microwave and a fridge/freezer.  She can use our kitchen anytime, but our house is SO small so if she wants friends over I want them to have a place to hang out and have some privacy, drink wine, and have some snacks.

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There's no closet in her room (that wall of doors are the water heaters and furnaces).  I bought these from ikea to hopefully act as a closet for her.  Not fancy at all, but hopefully it will work for her.

I'm a little nervous about having someone come live with us, but this adventure starts in just a few hours...